Attention: LI Friends!

(google image search results for our names)

Tomorrow night (1.29.08) Greg and I are DJing at Lilly Flannigans in Babylon! Come out and support your local dance-party-uh-DJ-guys.
9:00 pm - 1:00 AM.

We'll see you there.






(photo credits: http://www.llynygors.co.uk/update.html
http://www.longislandhoops.org/)

El Orfinato

It's hard not to sound trite when writing about film. Pretty much everything has been said before, either about the film I just saw, or about any other film. If this 'review' lacks originality I must apologize.

But I'm thrilled to pieces. And even more thrilled to share it with you. I originally thought this film was directed by Guillermo del Toro (of El Laberinto del Fauno and Hellboy fame). In actuality it is directed by his good friend, Juan Antonio Bayona with Guillermo del Toro playing the role of producer.

The film takes viewers on an emotional voyage into a world full of fear, imagination, darkness, terror, and torture. A rare gem among the 'horror' and 'thriller' categories, the film will scare the pants off you, but also will leave viewers touched, teary-eyed, and warmed, through and through. This is accomplished with a deep but slow moving story of the love between a mother and son, and the fluidity of the past, present, and future. Like El Laberiento del Fauno, and really any film del Toro has added his magic touch to, viewers are immersed in a child's world complete with all the frills and intensely inspiring imagery expected from youthful imagination. And as always, del Toro and his entourage play with the lines between the world of the living and the world of dead in a way that makes viewers question reality.

Yes this film is in Spanish, yes you will be spooked (I clenched mike's hand throughout the film and more than once made the comment "So sorry, I have to be going, I just can't watch!" to myself), and yes you should see it before it leaves theaters. Moving, inspiring, terrifying, and visually stunning--I cannot wait to see more films by this brilliant director.

Trailer below:





Find more information on El Orfinato here: imdb.com
Visit the official El Orfinato website here: theorphanagemovie.com
Local showtimes and theaters here: moviefone.com



Oh and good-news on the blogfront: Now everyone can comment, not just Google slaves, so get to it!

Kara Walker

OK OK, Kara Walker is showing at The Whitney until February 3rd. SEE HER NOW.


C'mon for once just listen. Kara Walker, African-American artist, creates awesome 18th century style silhouette cut outs of black paper on a white background. Kara Walker will challenge every racial stereotype you've ever known and fuck with your little white mind. Go see this exhibition, I'm telling you you'll love it. Or hate it (probably hate it), but I bet she'll illicit a reaction.

Find out more about Kara Walker here: learn.walkerart.com
Find out more about her exhibition (My Compliment, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love) here: whitney.org

Remember the exhibition ends February 3rd! That's so soon!

(Photo credit: Whitney American Museum of Art. Link.)

And!!

Sabastian, Kavinsky, and Uffie! It's a French dance music invasion!!! I can't wait to live in Paris.

Coachella Official Announced

I'm most excited about: Spiritualized, Portishead, Justice, Gogol, Roger Waters playing Dark Side of the Moon (in a concert festival setting! my word!), Hot Chip, Chromeo, Sasha/Digweed, and of course M.I.A.

I'm even more excited that I'm unemployed. Why must the West Coast be so far away?

Buy extremely expensive Coachella tickets here (Jan 25 10:00 AM PST): coachella.com

Life After People

Life After People: A Special Two Hour Television Event from The History Channel

Welcome to Earth: Population 0



This shit's cool. Our friends at The History Channel have visualized and imagined the future or the world without any of us left. It's a lot like Tyler Durden's apocolypic vision of the world. Take a look:

Tyler Durden: "In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway."

Only The History Channel has used it's big budget status to make this visually come to life! I'm excited! Now we did miss the world premier because I don't believe in date books, but thank God for encores and dvds.

Life After People Encores:
1/23/08 at 8:00 PM
1/24/08 at 12:00 AM
2/2/08 at 5:00 PM

Find out more information about Life After People here: history.com
Buy Life After People on DVD here: history.com

(Durden quote credit: imdb.com)

"Cheap Thrills"

"Chris, DO SOMETHING!"

Gilgo Beach, NY

Sunday, January 20th 2007, 4:30 PM:

Wind Direction: NW
Wind Speed: 31 MPH
Current Temperature: 22.3°F
Current Temp. (With wind chill): 4.2°F (that's four point two)

New official members of the Seriously Bad-Ass LI Polar Bear Club:
Joe (MUTHA-FUCKIN') Chambers and
Lindsey (DAMN-STRAIGHT) Jordan


I compare Polar Bear diving to two things:
1. Skydiving (++fun, +++thrilling)
2. Becoming roadkill by a four ton truck


Cheers to living life (no, really living...

(the photo credit's wikipedia, give me a fuckin' break)

Done.

I finished my fast. And lost 16 pounds, feel great, and I'm slowly beginning to eat solid foods again. Awesome!

If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart.
-The Buddha

Fuerzabruta!

fuer • za • bru • ta
\ f'where - zah - broo - tah \
1: brute force 2: the new show from the creators of DE LA GUARDA 3: a 360° heart-pounding theatrical experience

Here's the e-mail I sent out to my network before ever even seeing the show (Dated Friday October 12th 2007):

Hey Folks,

Recently I was told that the producers of De La Guarda (www.delaguarda.com) were opening a new show in NY (thanks Hollis). With a bit of clicking and Googling I found Fuerzabruta! the newest production from the makers of the aforementioned De La Guarda. Many of you on this haphazardly assembled electronic mail list know me fairly well. That means you know I am a passionate person,especially when it comes to things i like to do/see/hear/enjoy. Well, I've yet to see Fuerzabruta! but I am giving it my 100% recommendation. If it means you have to take a weekend and travel to NYC exclusively to see this show do it. It will be worth every scent. I was lucky enough to see De La Guarda twice before it closed 4ish years ago. The show blew my mind, and the mind of every single person I took to see it. I could sit here and describe the show to you for pages and pages of text and you would still have not a single clue what to expect upon entering. With Fuerzabruta! I expect the same, if not better (as time ages the best things in the world). Expect a dance party, expect a mind altering theatrical experience, expect water, sex, tears, beats, rhythm, strobes, and confetti... better yet, enter expecting nothing. Just call me when those doors open onto Union Square and tell me how you feel.

The show runs 18 weeks only (when they say limited engagement they mean it). Tickets run $35 dollars before Oct24th and $70 dollars following. Rush tickets are available the day of performances for $25 dollars (line up early folks).

www.fuerzabruta.net


Forward this to people who care, and I'll see each and every one of you in Union Square.

Cheers,
Joe

Now having seen the show, and planning to see it again, I agree with Joe from the past. Fuerzabruta will blow your mind. Blown. You will dance, and you will feel emotions never before felt from a theatrical experience. I've been a Broadway fanatic since I was 15 years old, and Broadway's got nothin' on Union Square right now. If you have $25 US dollars, go wait in line and enjoy yourself. You won't be disappointed, that I guarantee. But don't go in there expecting Phantom of the Opera either, give me a break, and be primed to dance and explode.

I know you wanna see the trailer, well who am I to deny?

Rush tickets go on sale two hours before curtain time, line up early folks. Real tickets cost $70 US dollars and are available here: telecharge.com

This is a VERY limited engagement that will end in June of 08.

Find out more about Fuerzabruta! here: fuerzabruta.net

Find out more about De La Guarda here: delaguarda.com

Link for tickets (again) here: telecharge.com

Attention Boston Friends: King Britt

King Britt is a sick ass DJ who spins crazy ambient? dance? electronica? hip-hop? (I guess) African/African-American/jazz/ninasimone/awesome music. He's Playing at The Estate this Friday. Go. I might come up for it (doubtful) but I really wish I could.

More information on The Estate here: theestateboston.com
Give King Britt a listen here: myspace.com/kingbritt

AND HE'S PLAYING IN NY ON MY BIRTHDAY! (more to come on this event)

Sex and the City Trailer!

Whatever, I'm a homo, and you are too. And we all love Carrie, regardless of sexual orientation.

Wall.E

Below you'll find the trailer for the newest Disney/Pixar collabo (Toy Story, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, A Bugs Life), Wall.E. Due out in Summer of 2008. I can't wait.


Find out more about Wall.E here: Wall.E

Max Fish

Ahhhh, now here's a nightspot I can get along with. A funky fresh facade leads to a colorful and friendly atmosphere. Pirates of The Caribbean pinball, $4.50 (US dollar) vodka tonics, and enough hipsters to keep even brooklynvegan happy. I think I'm in Love. There's also a Shi Tzu and a Pitbull to greet you, and I'm pretty sure they live at the bar (sick huh?). Go to Max Fish (but only when Bulgaria is closed).

Max Fish is located at 178 Ludlow Street btw Houston and Stanton
Check out their website here: maxfish.com (it might not work)

(photo credit: Lauren Klain Carton and NYMag.com)

I'm also more than half done with my fast! Sick huh?

Cafe Wha? Wha-tever

Let me begin by saying I'm sorry. I'm sure Cafe Wha? means a lot to a lot of people, but I'll go right ahead and say it's one of the lamest night spots I've ever been to. Cafe Wha? comes off like it should be the chillest nightspot ever. A darkened basement, a fun funky live band, a history that could make Carnegie Hall blush (Hendrix, Dylan, Springsteen, Crosby, Prior, Velvet Underground to name a few have all graced it's darkened stage), plenty of dancing, and plenty of libations.

So you might be asking yourself "what seems to be the problem, joe?" well, let me fucking tell you. First we arrive and we're meeting people, the hostess is bouncing her twaty breasts to keep herself warm although I doubt she was anything less than cold-blooded. We let her know were meeting people and she says: "Ok go find them." OK. I then spy a sign on the door that reads "No unaccompanied gentlemen. Find a date." Now I'm sure this sign is 35 years old but fuck that! Fine, so we walk in and there's a lot going on. Dancing, band, servers, chaos. Were looking for our friends, obviously it's a mess. And we stop for a moment before the twaty hostess strikes again. KEEP MOVING. As if we were school children. Uh, OK, perhaps seat us? Lunatic? It is your fucking job. No big deal.

We're seated. Our server comes over and speaks to me about a two drink minimum. Now, I'm fasting so I make is clear that I'm not drinking. SORRY. Any other night I'll run a tab that will make P. Diddy blush (do black people blush?) but not tonight sorry Charlie. He "politely" explains that it's not optional, even for people fasting. I say Kristen will drink our minimum and he mumbles something about her not going to drink 6 drinks. Give me a break.

Our group is reunited before long. And the alcoholic bunch that we are, the minimum is drank almost instantly.


Now the time of the night comes for a smoke break. And we dash left and right to get to the door to find a bouncer blocking the door. He collects hall passes to smoke. "I'm sorry, you can't go outside. Find your server and get a pass" PERMISSION TO SMOKE PLEASE SIR? What the fuck? Can you imagine? I'm like "how about I light this smoke right here and you throw me out, and I never, ever come back."

So we send Alex back through the treacherous crowd to hunt down our server who gives him a pass. For 1. There are three of us trying to smoke. "I'm sorry, you can't go outside. You should have told your server it was for three." Well thanks for letting us know, it's only your full-time job.

Hello? Am I the only one who thinks this is utter Nazi lunacy? So Alex goes back through the crowd (what a guy) and secures us two more passes. All in all 20 minutes waiting to smoke a 45 second cigarette.

So the band keeps playing and everyone seems to be having a fun time despite the Nazi Lunacy. We decide a few hours later to move on.

Now, if you want to exit Cafe Wha? you need a receipt with a hand stamp from your server also to be presented to douche bag bouncer I-only-enforce-the-rules-never-question-the-lunacy-of-the-rules guy. Again, another 20 minutes wasted trying to exit the damn basement just to smoke a fucking cigarette and drink my damn lemonade sustenance. Is this legal?

Hey Cafe Wha? staff I have an idea. How about holding a fucking credit card and a fucking ID like every other drinking establishment in the world? I guarantee you'll get every tab paid AND you can fire that douche bag bouncer. And we can smoke, without seeking permission.

All in all, Cafe Wha? like so many other examples of NYC culture is gone. I'm sure these rules weren't in place when Bob Dylan was playing 35 years ago. And I'm also sure that every once of spirit that attracted these musicians to this night spot is also gone. It's a shame really. I won't be going back. I don't care how good the music was.

TWO DRINK MINIMUM: EVEN FOR PIOUS MUSLIMS
TWO DRINK MINIMUM: ESPECIALLY FOR PREGNANT WOMEN
TWO DRINK MINIMUM: EVEN FOR JESUS CHRIST
TWO DRINK MINIMUM: EVEN FOR ORTHODOX JEWS
TWO DRINK MINIMUM: EVEN FOR PRIESTS, NUNS, AND OTHER MEN AND WOMEN OF THE CLOTH
TWO DRINK MINIMUM: EVEN FOR RECOVERING ALCOHOLICS


(Photo credit: wikipedia.org)

Ken Burns: THE WAR

By far the best Christmas present I received was Ken Burn's THE WAR on DVD from mom and pop. Below is the extended 27 minute preview. The DVD is available for $79.99 US dollars from PBS.

This incredible documentary is 15 hours long and contains footage/photos/stories never before seen/heard/told in the history of the world. It tells the story of World War Two through the eyes of four solders from four different towns in the United States. The story is told by the men who fought the war. Ken Burns is brilliant. Brilliant. He received a standing ovation from a packed out audience in the Coolidge Corner theater in Boston (for the preview). The ovation included about 12 World War 2 veterans. Brilliant. I'll be watching it non-stop for the next few weeks so if you can't afford the $79.99 US dollars just call me.

Preview:



Check out Ken Burns here: pbs.org/kenburns
Wikipedia entry on Ken Burns here: wikipedia.org
Check out THE WAR website here: pbs.org/thewar
Buy THE WAR on DVD here: amazon.com

Tom Hanks narrates, Ken Burns directs, and Wynton Marsalis composed original music for the film. See it.

Explosions In The Sky at The Crazy Donkey!

I might say the only show I will not miss in the world is Daft Punk. But then also Explosions in the Sky too. The last time I saw Explosions I was with Spindler at the Middle East Downstairs in Cambridge and I cried from the opening note of Explosions' set to the closing note. PUSSY! But it's true; I get emotional. The first time I saw Explosions I was with Ms. Meghan Sennott and Sir Richard Gebbie, and Rich used his sweet talkin' British twang to get me a ticket to the long-before sold out show at The Bowery Ballroom. Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant.

If you don't listen to Explosions, get a life.

If you want to come with me to see them I've already secured myself a ticket to the 4/6/08 performance at The Crazy Donkey Rt. 110 FARMINGDALE baby.

How sweet is that? Your other option is to trek into NYC (the asshole of the universe) and see them at Terminal 5 (the asshole of live venues in the asshole of the universe). Terminal 5 holds 4500 hipsters. The Crazy Donkey holds 400 dedicated fans. You make the call. I'll be at the Donkey.

The show is ALL AGES and cost $13 US dollars in advance. $15 US dollars at the door.
Check out Explosions in the Sky here: ExplosionsintheSky.com
Buy tickets to the 4/6/08 performance here: CrazyDonkey

The Master Cleanse

Today I begin my 11 day inner journey to a new cleansed being. HA! Well really, I'm just trying to detox after the holidays. And honestly, I need a good detoxing. This cleanse is very popular on the West Coast and has been around since the 70's. Stanley Burroughs is the author, and it was recommended to me by Monica, who claims that she radiated during, and for a month or so, after the cleanse. I start today and we'll see how long I last without eating. Or smoking. Or drinking. Or living, so to speak. Wish me luck!

Check out the Master Cleanser here: MasterCleanser.com
Or pick up The Master Cleanser book at your local bookstore. Stanley Burroughs baby.

Design By Humans

Greg showed me a t-shirt he was wearing and mumbled something about Design By Humans. I got very excited and told him I'd be putting it on the blog. So here it is. Design By Humans is a company that, in their own words: "...is a place for people to submit, discover and buy amazing custom t-shirt designs created by artists from around the world. Based around an ongoing t-shirt design contest, all of the designs you see on Design By Hümans have been submitted by our community. Headquartered in Irvine, California, Design By Hümans officially launched in early July 2007."

The point: awesome custom t-shirts, unique, original. Relatively cheap prices, and if you sign up, you up get to vote on which designs make it to the printing stage.

I love the concept of this site and as soon as I secure myself a job, I will be investing in at least 5 of these wonderful artsy tees.

Check out Design By Humans here: Designbyhumans.com
Check out a few of my favorite designs here here and here.

Scotch Mist, a Film With Radiohead in it

Radiohead is probably the closest thing we've had yet to an incarnation of the messiah (since Jesu Christo, of course). They simply cannot do wrong.


Happy New Year Bitches.

LABoston

So I bought this awesome KidRobot fitted at my new favorite store in Boston. Check it on on Brighton Ave. It's called LAB and Kim is the owner. She's 24 years old. It's an event space. A gallery space. A fashion epicenter. And they sell vinyl and have turntables set up throughout. Visit, do it now. Now.

New Year's was sick. Duh.
I'm DJing my first set with Gregory tonight at Kristen's Pajama Jam. Be there.

Check out LABoston here: Lab-Boston.com

If you drop in tell Kim I said hi.

Foxxxy Grandpa!

Yesterday Annabel made it clear that she had never before heard of CafePress.com. I've been using Cafe Press for customized goods for at least 5 years. They are a wonderful company that allows any old person to make whatever they want available for sale on a website that you set up yourself. Need hats that read Foxxxy Grandpa? You can make it! Check out my merchandise websites below and set up your own shop through CafePress.com. The possibilities are only as limited as your imagination.

There is NO Breakfast Merch: First Meal Day
Check out CafePress here: CafePress.com